Silence Your Inner Critic: How to Overcome Self-Doubt
Some of the most intense battles often occur deep within us. We all have an inner critical voice that has an opinion about our actions, how we look, what we are thinking, choices we make and our abilities or their lack of! Sometimes, this voice is a helpful guide to keep us safe and striving toward success but too often, it becomes an unrelenting critic. This voice fuels negative self-talk (e.g., “You are worthy of being loved!”) and negative beliefs about who we are (e.g., “You’re not good enough. You will never succeed.”). This can result in feelings of inadequacy, shame, blame, guilt, or a sense of responsibility. Often these are the feelings that keep an individual emotionally “stuck.”
Understanding the Inner Critic
The inner voice’s job is to keep us safe. Back when man were hunters and gathers, the inner voice was a guide and reminder to individuals how to navigate their environment in the manner to avoid harm, threat, and death. As man evolved, so did the inner voice. The voice now draws from a more complex history of experiences, societal expectations, multi-generational and multi-cultural influences. The inner voice has developed over time as a defense mechanism to protect us from failure or embarrassment. Doing so often becomes a source of self-sabotage that can be exhausting and overwhelming to our nervous system.
How to Overcome Your Inner Critic
Recognize the Voice
The first step in silencing your inner critic is awareness. Pay attention to when the voice is guiding or judging and criticizing. Become mindful as to what triggers critical thoughts and feelings? What words, tones, or behaviors from others triggers the critical voice inside your head? Once you identify its patterns, you can begin to challenge it and transform it.
Separate Yourself from the Critic
You are not your thoughts, feelings, or emotions. These are things that inform who you are but don’t determine who you are. Acceptance of how our mind operates is the first step in transforming unwanted and undesirable emotions and thoughts. Give a voice to what every you are thinking or feeling by naming it, “I am feeling frustrated. This is just a feeling, and I know it will soon pass.” Riding the wave of naturally occurring human thoughts and emotions helps create distance and makes it easier to dismiss its negativity.
Challenge Its Assumptions
When your inner critic tells you, “You’re going to fail,” ask yourself:
- Is this thought based on facts or fear?
- What evidence supports or contradicts this belief?
- How would I speak to a friend in the same situation?
Often, you’ll find that the critic is exaggerating or making baseless claims. Practice self-compassion as you are going through the list of questions. Would you speak to a loved one the way your inner critic speaks to you? Probably not. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding. When you make mistakes, remind yourself that failure is part of growth.
Your inner critic may never completely disappear, but you can learn to manage it. By recognizing its voice, challenging its negativity, and practicing self-compassion, you can diminish or even take away its power over your life. The next time self-doubt creeps in, remind yourself: You are capable, worthy, and enough—just as you are.
To learn more about how to manage your inner critic, check out this resource:
(Article) Schaffner, Anna Katharina. “Living With the Inner Critic: 8 Helpful Worksheets.” PositivePsychology.com, 15 Oct. 2020.
